Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Crazy neighbor #467

If there is one thing you can count on as an Army family, it's crazy, sometimes scary neighbors. I have once again found joy in living on post. sure.

I am going to document this here, not quite sure if that is a good thing or not, but I suppose I can always come back and delete this post if I need to. Yesterday about 1645, M and A were digging in their usual spot between cars 2 and 3. They sit on the sidewalk and dig in the place where the asphalt meets the curb. They get little sticks and pry the stones out from the crevice where the parkinglot doesn't quite meet up with the curb. M says he is a geologist, so he collects rocks. I was standing about 10 or 15 feet away, at the table filling out my meal count sheets.

Our new neighbor's husband (I met her, but not him) came out of the house and went over to the boys and was talking to them in low tones. I could not hear his words but I could hear his voice. He was standing with hostile body language and his tone of voice wasn't friendly either. I started to walk over there and as I walked, I asked him what the problem was. He shouted at me, possibly due to distance, using a hostile tone of voice that he has only lived here since Friday and already his car is scratched. He tells me that the boys scratched his car with a stick. I tell him that if there are any future problems, to just let me know because I am always out wiht the kids and I will take care of them. He starts freaking out about how he has only lived here so long and already his care is being damaged. So I asked him if he saw who did it, and he said pointed at M and said him. Well M has a condition that causes him to have poor muscle tone and he can't even walk with out a walker. He has problems pouring his drinks from the half size pitchers. I highly doubt he has the strength to actually scratch this man's car. During this exchange I am getting the boys up and directing them to another part of the yard to dig in.

This guy doesn't go back in his house, he just continues to harrass me about this. I can't even tell you what he was saying because I was so upset. He just keeps going on about how I am obviously not supervising them enough, how his car has been scratched etc. He has started calling me "Hey, Lady". Finally I just turned around to him and told him not to call me that. I told him it was rude and he was being a jerk.

At this time, S. and C. show up, M, A and A's mom and aunt. When the guy sees me having back up, he goes back into the house. S asks what is going on and I give her the run down and she is all upset. M is all upset thinking I am going to get in a fight. It was nuts. So I get them taken care of and they leave.

Crazy is standing inside his house with the screen door closed staring at me. I go up to his house, and he is on the phone. He does not even acknowledge that I am there so I tell him that as soon as he gets an estimate to let us know and we will pay for the damage. He again starts "yelling" (talking in a very hostile manner, not really loudly) at me, saying he knows my husband, and he would not do that to my husband, as if I was a small child who has misbehaved! I told him that I would just give him money then and he said he would give it back, so I walked away with a loud "whatever." **So many things wrong here. The first being that he doesn't know my husband. Anyone who did would NEVER freak out on me. Adan can take many things in stride but he gets really heated when he thinks someone has done me wrong, especially another man. The way he knows my husband? He came into the ER with his daughter and Adan was their medic. He doesn't KNOW my husband, he just knows who he is. Secondly, I am not a child, and if my children are responsible for damage, the responsible thing is to pay for it.

So I go over to the van in questions and I look at the scratches. They are very small, and curvy, and to me they look as if they could have been made by road debris rather than a muddy stick. But I don't know one way or the other.

I called up adan, in tears, and asked him to come home. Of course he can't. I told him the whole story and went and got my camera so i could take a picture of the damage. As i squatted down at the side of the car, Crazy comes racing out of his house with a hammer in his hand yelling about what the hell am i doing. I told him i was just taking a picture so we could get an estimate, and he starts yelling at me about how he doesn't want an estimate blah blah. Adan is on the phone yelling at me to get out of there and i am like, he has a hammer! CHAOS! People start coming out of their houses. Lisa and Ray, and Mary all come out to see what the commotion is about. I am thoroughly shaken and just so disappointed.

I tried to do the right thing at the beginning by telling this guy that I will take care of any problems that arise. I try and do the right thing by asking him for an estimate. I try and do the right thing by getting my own estimate. I get threatened with a hammer.

He came out one time later, while I was playing basketball with Lucy in the yard. I don't remember what he said to me, but I told him he was an ass. He told me I was a bad daycare provider for saying ass in front of my daughter. he also said that we aren't allowed to park in our parking spots, that he is going to always park in them every day and we are out of luck.

I seriously don't understand this. Why do people act like that? When his wife was moving stuff in, I made sure to keep the kids out of the way. I gave her our parking spot because it was closest to her front door and she has 2 little ones. I talked to her and welcomed her to the neighborhood. He hasn't even ever said hello to me, yet he is going to be mean and rude and threatening.

Adan got home at 1800. He went over and talked to the guy and told him to not speak to me. I hope he doesn't ever speak to me again. I am not that lucky.

Now I am worried that this guy is going to try and run me out of my own yard. We have a courtyard and we put out our basketball hoop for all the kids to use... in just our 3 buildings, not counting her 5 children, that is 17 other kids. We put out our soccer net and keep all of our balls accessible to everyone. We put in a huge garden... I am a social creature.. i don't want it to be miserable here.. not to mention i don't want to be in fear for my life or afraid to go outside.


Meg said...

Are you freakin kidding me?! I would have called the MP's if he had a hammer!

I'm sorry your neighbor is wacked out.

Susie said...

:( I am afraid if I call the MPs it will just escalate further. Also, I run a home daycare and if he wants to start calling in random complaints, even if they aren't true. :(

Sarah said...

omg a HAMMER? You might think about calling the MPs if he does it again - I mean, with the daycare kids there, threatening you physically is really not OK - moreso than if it was just you. Can you call whoever he would call to complain about the daycare and let them know there's this neighbor you're having trouble with, yadda yadda, and maybe pre-empt it a bit? I have no idea how the army works.

Susie said...

Well today we did call the MP's and file a report. I asked them not to come out, but to note that this is happening in case he does decide to escalate this further. I called the office that governs family child care and told them all about it, and I called the housing office and talked to them. Housing was worthless like always. It amazes me though, that people will act this way. I mean I know that we are all sinful creatures but when people do things like this it always catches me by surprise. I am finding myself feeling really bitter and need to find forgiveness for him before bitterness starts eating away at me. It's just so hard when he is so hateful. Every time I went outside he would stand at his door and eyeball me.

Blue House Soaps Blog said...

That is shocking and scary and I'm sure very disappointing. I'm sorry your neighbor is a big ass.

Jessica said...

First off, keep yourself and your babies and your daycare babies safe safe safe. Second of all, kudos to Adan for going over there and telling Mr. I Need A Hammer Because I'm Scared of A Woman to leave you and the children alone.

I know that if I had an experience anywhere NEAR this my husband would undoubtedly have had some "words" with the other party and that may or may not have led to, well, you know....

I'm glad you called all the proper authorities. I mean, what the hell?
My car is scratched too! I don't go yelling at baby children and their mothers for doing it!

Priorities sir!

Jessica said...

PS It just totally speaks to your character and what a wonderful person you are and always have been that you are seeking out forgiveness for this kumquat neighbor of yours before you turn to anger and bitterness.

Note: I said "kumquat"
I'm not even there and I'm livid. LIVID!
deep cleansing breaths....